To all the men out there, I apologize.
On behalf of my sex, I will admit we are not perfect. I, personally, have made so many terrible errors in the dating scene. I’ve hurt many people, just as they have hurt me. But that doesn’t mean my actions were justified. I realized recently that I haven’t been able to forget or “let go” of some past relationships because I’ve been so fixated on the fact that they hurt me. It dawned on me this morning: I hurt them, too, because that’s just how relationships are. (Duh, but you’d be surprised how long it took me to reach this obvious conclusion.)
And I finally brought myself to finally say the words, “I’m sorry.”
I apologize to you. I apologize for myself and for all the women who have ever taken your love and played you for a fool. Although I will never be able to say it face-to-face with any of the men I’ve offended, I say it now: I’m sorry. To them. To every man out there who has been hurt and broken and lied to and mistreated and abused and had their heart ripped out by a woman, I’m sorry. We’re sorry.
I’m sorry to every guy I ever treated poorly. Any guy. I’m sorry to each man to whom I gave my affections and then took them away because I was scared and insecure. I’m sorry for misleading so many of you, for making you like me more than “like” because I don’t know when to stop being friendly and forthcoming and because I don’t know my boundaries because I just love being around people and, well, you’re a person. I’m sorry for being too needy, too harsh, too indifferent, too judgmental, too analytical, too nice, too mean, too stereotypically girly.
I’m sorry that I ever made you feel like you were never worth anything to me. Because you meant so much. Truly. I wouldn’t have bothered if you didn’t. And that’s why I hurt to this day. Loved and lost each other, and I’m sorry for that. Eventually, we found someone else to pick us up and bind our wounds, kiss our scars. And we moved on. And became better people (or at least, I hope so).
I know I did.
So thank you, too. Thank you for teaching me more about myself, and for molding my personality into what it is today. Thank you for teaching me to appreciate the men who are in my life. Thank you for making me stronger and more comfortable with myself as a woman. Thank you for teaching me how to give and receive love properly. Thank you for helping me know what I want in a man, in a life-partner, a soul mate. You taught me about what is acceptable in a relationship and what isn’t. What I’m willing to put up with, and when I need to put my foot down. You taught me how to love my Someone more and better than anyone else.
So, for all this, I apologize. And thank you.